Missing My Mother

It's taken me over a month to write this post about losing my mother. The reality of it is still difficult to comprehend. My faith lets me know that she is in a much better place today. There is no pain and she is able to do all the things she could not in the last months of her life. She left this life with dignity, the way she wanted. I'm thankful that she was clear about how she led her life and how she chose to leave this life. It made it easier for us (the daughters) to make those critical decisions. I'm also greatful for Southern Care Hospice. The round-the-clock care during the last days were a blessing. She left us peacefully on November 6 with all her children at her bedside. The service on the following Sunday was a perfect tribute to a great lady. I've celebrated my first birthday without her and the holidays are definitely not the same. Life goes on, just differently. She was a wonderful mother and I miss her.............. Just as a side note, take every opportunity to tell your mother how much you love her. Time is too short to let those moments pass.

Is It REALLY November?

I'm sure someone must be mistaken....the calendar must be wrong.....November 1st.....you must be kidding! My mother always told me that the older you get the faster the years go by. It seems she was correct. Only yesterday we were celebrating New Year's Eve. Only yesterday spring had arrived. Only yesterday summer was in full bloom and then another school year began. Where did all the days go? Was I napping? Not sure what happened but the end of this year is fast approaching.

He's 15!

Today is Richard's 15th birthday. Where have the years gone? It seems only yesterday he was a baby, all cuddly and sweet. Now he's a strapping teenager, all sweaty and smelly (especially after ball practice). He's now a freshman in high school and will go tomorrow and take his driver's test for the all important permit. I'm sure I will turn around shortly and he will be away at college. Time flies.....savor the moments, good and bad, happy and sad. Before long they are grown and gone, living lives of their own.

It's Addictive.......

I've decided that blogging is addictive, but I've also decided it's better to blog than to eat, since blogging has no calories. Recently, my friend, Lisha started a food blog as a way to relieve her anxiety about cooking and meal planning. I really enjoyed reading her posts but knew I did not not have time to invest in another online task. Well, I was wrong! After a few weeks, I could not help myself, so I created my newest endeavor. Check it out!

Taking Time..................

Recently the pastoral staff at my church has been taking the congregation Back to School. One of the earlier "classes" was reading class. Professor H encouraged us to start reading the Bible. He proposed that we use a system developed by The Navigator Group. Part of this system is journaling and I'm finding it to be a great tool in going over what I've read for the week. The Navigators have a form you can use to document the scripture you've read, plus list any thoughts, etc. that you might have on that scripture. There's also a place for prayer requests and praises. Another tip from the Professor was to write in your Bible with pencil (really liking this tip). As part of my family's accountability to reading, we are meeting with other families in a small group setting each Tuesday evening for one hour. This allows us to share insight into our reading for the week, but also to hear what the others have learned. We missed last week due to a family illness, but look forward to spending time in the Word with our friends tonight. I personally take time to do a lot of things that are far less important than reading the Bible. I plan on taking time to read..................

Busyness Business.......

Seems like I've been away for a while, but things have been ...busy. I'm convinced that life was better in a sense when I was young (back before electricity). Things moved slower.....we had fewer distractions to overload our schedules. Early to bed and early to rise was the rule not the exception. We worked hard, in school or at our place of employment, but we played hard as well (not in front of a TV either). Leisure hours were spent outside in the yard or on the front porch. Just thinking of the swings and rockers makes me smile. People took time to visit...share a meal or dessert. You did not have to call and make an appointment, either, just show up and knock on the front door. This busyness business has gotten the best of our culture......I'm thinking it's time to slow down................

Life List........

This has been an emotional week for me. I'm not sure why......... Perhaps the death of a relative has caused me to reflect on my own mortality or perhaps it's just me being female. However, I'm determined to be thankful for all things God has supplied.

A Savior

A loving husband (After 33 years, he's still my best friend)

Children and grandchildren

A loving family (blood relations and my adopted family: Adam Family - take note)

Special friends (especially Lisha, who keeps me sane and on track)

A wonderful work environment and great partners in ministry (who wouldn't love working at Mulder?)

Even though Bob will lose his job by year's end, we are trusting God to supply all we need. We can't let the uncertainty of tomorrow guide how we live our lives. I firmly believe God has His hand in all things that are affecting my family. I choose to celebrate all things...find joy in all things.....and praise Him always!

Wondering Why......

I'm always leary of conversations that begin, "Are you sitting down?". Those were the words my brother spoke to me on Wednesday morning. I had heard that before......Same question.....same tone of voice. I heard it when his 42 year old daughter had died suddenly in June 2007. I knew something bad had happened. Then he told me......His oldest son (who was my age) had been taken by ambulance to a local hospital and wasn't expected to live. He died around 4 pm that afternoon. While I haven't been close to Steve in a long time, we were close as children, so naturally I am saddened by his passing. I fondly recall long lazy summers, playing outside. I remember holidays with the house full of children and the aromas of good food to share. Those thoughts have been buried for a long time...Steve's death served to remind me of simpler times. Yes, I am sad, but even sadder is my brother and his ex-wife who have lost 2 children in 13 months. We are always deeply touched by parents who lose young children.....I'm convinced we should be touched as well by parents who lose adult children. How do you comfort parents who are in their 60s and 70s and wish it had been them? Tomorrow I will sing Amazing Grace as we gather to say goodbye to Steve. He lived a hard life, he lived a solitary life.......I'm not sure of his eternal destination.....I can hope he found salvation before the end. Life is short.....live it to the fullest for the glory of God.

Catching Up.........

My good friend, Lisha, gently asked if I was ever going to blog again. Guess that was her way of telling me that I needed to put words to the screen.

A lot has happened in the last 6 weeks:

1. School finished. Richard will be a high school freshman in August!

2. VBS went off without a major hitch....just a few minor blips. Great job, Lisha!

3. Richard's baseball team won their league championship. He hit 7 homeruns this year, tying the league record.

4. Richard made the 14 Year Old All Star Team!

5. Richard is now my son. Adoption Day went off without a hitch. We were joined by Craig, Zac, Abby, Mark and Lisha. Everyone, plus Dan, went to Red Robin for lunch.

6. Richard's team won the Sub-District Championship, but came up short in District play.

7. Bob and I had dinner with Dan & Lisha in celebration of their 21st wedding anniversary. We attended an off-broadway production of Jesus Christ, Superstar after dinner. Thanks for asking us to join you!

8. Lisha, Valerie, Tanya and myself spent last weekend in Atlanta attending Deeper Still:the Event. What a blessed time of spiritual renewal. What a wonderful time of hanging out with the girls. I look forward to our next trip together.

9. Tomorrow we will travel to Lake Martin to celebrate the Fourth of July at the cabin of my BIL, Sonny. Lisha and her family will join us. This is the first year mother will not and I know I will miss her. She is unable to get out of bed these days............

10. My nephew, Bobby is on his way home from Iraq for some R&R. Hopefully, we will travel to ATL to pick him up on Saturday!

I could elaborate on any of these topics and may one day soon, but this is the best I could come up with at the moment. God is good and I am blessed..........

Feeling Frustrated........

There it is......that worrisome 10 pounds . Will it ever go away? Surely not.....at least not as long as I continue to EAT after 8:00 pm. Gotta stop it....really must......Was I hungry? Of course, not!

Weighty Issues..........

Where did that 10 pounds come from? Why won't they disappear? The fact is I'm consuming way too many calories. While I have the exercise thing going again (many thanks to Tracie for the treadmill and Valerie who shows up at 6:45 am for our outside walks), I need to cut back on what enters my mouth! Hmmmmm....maybe stitching it up will work?

Random Ramblings..........

PTL - We are finally in the new facility at Mulder. More and more people are hearing about God's Church here on this hill in Redland, so the space is definitely needed. I wish I could tell everyone I know how awesome it is to be able to serve God in this place. I'm blessed......

VBS is just around the corner and my friend, Lisha, is doing a great job getting everything ready. I hope she doesn't stress about the process. It always works out great and to the Glory of God! So Lisha, here is your mantra until June 13, "God is in control and He will be glorified in all we do". Bring on those 300 children........

Baseball is in full swing. Richard is having a ball (pun intended) and has 2 homeruns under his belt. Many thanks to Mark, Craig, Bruce and Kit. They are all great coaches......

My husband is the kindest man I know. We've been married a looooonnnngggggg time, but I seem to love him more each day!

Wednesday Supper is almost ready. Joan is a wonderful cook who takes great care of our members by preparing these good meals. Mexican tonight!

Adoption Day is scheduled for June 17 at 9:30 am. While Richard has been with us his entire life, we've never made the situation permanent. Praises to God for allowing the process to go so smoothly.

No matter how badly things go, I am always reminded of God's ove for me...............................

Life Lately.......

My good friend Lisha suggested that I should write about my life for the last month or so. It's been a whirlwind to say the least.



On February 25, my sister called to say my Mother was being taken to the hospital by ambulance. I was only 45 minutes away but Rose persuaded me to wait for the physician's diagnosis. Late that afternoon we were told that she would be admitted once a bed was available. Mother suffers from Alzheimer's and could not be left alone so we (the 3 sisters) mapped out a plan to take care of Mother around the clock. Since sister #3 lives in Florida, I took the first night. We were blessed to have been assigned a quarrantine room. This allowed us to have a buffer or sink area between the hallway and the room itself. How wonderful to miss all those hospital noises. The room was also large and allowed us to have a cot and a couple of comfy chairs. I actually slept pretty well the nights I stayed! My FL sister, Peggy, took the night shift for 5 days, knowing she would have to go home for a doctor's appointment the next week. God bless her for that. The outcome was a severe urinary tract infection, a kidney stone and several other kidney related problems. After 10 days Mother was taken back to the nursing home. If you know anything about dementia, you realize she had gotten into the hospital routine by that time and now had to go back to the nursing home routine. Not good. There have been 2 kidney procedures since her dismissal from the hospital with a radiology procedure to be performed tomorrow. All this takes its toll on someone easily confused. Mother is slowly recovering.....



My daughter and her family travelled to Michigan on March 7 to visit her in-laws. They had a wonderful time until my grandson, Wally, had a sledding accident and fractured his skull, eye and nose. He spent 5 days in a Wisconsin hospital before flying home. At his initial visit to Children's Hospital in B'ham, AL, the doctor warned Peggilyn that if Wally should start leaking spinal fluid they would have to operate quickly to minmize the possibility of contracting menengitis. Well, that is exactly what happened, so on April 1 my grandson had brain surgery. He has recovered rapidly and hopes to have all 45 staples removed on Friday. Yes, I did say 45 staples. He will probably miss the remainder of the school year but should be able to move to the 3rd grade by doing his work at home.



My life has been a whirlwind, a tornado, a rollercoaster.......leaving me with little or no control over things. Not good from my point of view. I have learned to lean more on God, ask for help from Him and my friends and focus on the positives in my life. Bad things happen and I've had a streak of bad things going on recently. Today, Mother is much better and still recognizes me and Wally is the happy smiling child who owns a big part of my heart.



I'm exhausted from reliving all that's happened and I left out a lot of the details.....but it has helped to write about my life, lately.........

Gratitude

count your many blessings, name them one by one.........

Recently my friend Lisha completed blogging 30 days of gratitude. I was encouraged by her take on things for which she was grateful. Today has not been the best day of my life, however, it has certainly not been the worst. So, to put things in perspective here are some blessings in my life:

1. A God who loves me......
2. A husband who loves me......
3. My family...........
4. My church.........
5. My church family..........
6. My job (at church).......
7. My friend, Lisha, who has picked me up so many times recently.......
8. Craig & Mark J (I could not be in ministry with better people)...........
9. Volunteers who take care of church business in my absence..........
10. The ability to find humor in most things and laugh at myself when necessary.........

.......count you many blessings, see what God has done!

Celebrate.......

Today was a good day. After arising at 5:00 am to spend thirty minutes manning the Holy Week Prayer Wall, I downed a quick cup of coffeee, showered, dressed and made my way to church along with my hubby. We arrived around 7:15 am just as the Sunrise Service was adjourning. I actually look forward to these long days at church. I am blessed beyond measure to be able to spend a major part of my time serving the Lord and others, at the Mulder Church. My plan was to catch the early service as well as the late service. I was astounded at the crowd for the 8:15 service. It was so crowded that I gave up my plans to attend so someone could have a seat. Total in worship at 8:15 without nursery numbers:220. PTL! During the wait time for Praise Band rehearsal, I helped my friend Lisha prepare flowers so our children could decorate a cross. Once that was finished I moved to a room adjacent to Carter Hall to pray for the services.......Well, the Praise Band warmed up and the people flocked to the 10:45 service, all 255 of them (no children's numbers included)! I'm thinking Craig's guesstimate of 540 total in attendance is going to be very close. I'll have the final count tomorrow. All 255 of those people were worshipping and praising God...AWESOME!



Immediately after church we travelled to AC to visit my mother, my sister and our daughters along with their families. The children were so cute looking for those Easter eggs!



What a glorious day. Christ is risen! He is risen, indeed! Celebrate......................

Travel Time

Yesterday, I took a trip to Atlanta, not for fun or for business, but to meet my grandson at the airport. (See previous blog about THE ACCIDENT). Bob and I left early enough to stop and have breakfast together in Opelika. We hardly ever have our morning meal together, so it was nice to able to eat, have coffee and just talk. It was also nice to not be surrounded by children with big ears. As we traveled closer to Hartzfield-Jackson International, the questions about how Wally would look and if he weathered the trip well, began to surface. Arriving at the airport about an hour before the scheduled arrival, we learned that the departure from Green Bay had been delayed due to the rainy weather in Dallas. So we waited and waited and waited. Finally the board showed flight 4684 had landed.....and we waited....the board showed flight 4684 had arrived....and we waited...........then my cell phone rang. It was my daughter saying they were here and where was I? Of course, due to all the 911 regulations you cannot reach a gate without a ticket, so we waited in the Atrium..........and we waited...and waited. Finally, I heard someone say, "Momma" and there they were, the daughter and the grandson. Wally with 2 black eyes and a very flat place on his skull and his mother one tired girl. Braving the rain that had moved in we headed for the parking lot and the van. Bob went on ahead to bring the car closer. What a blessing he is. About 45 minutes into our return trip we stop at Steak & Shake for a late lunch. Wally always orders chicken, but this time he wanted fish.....has the skull fracture changed his taste? We resumed our trip stopping only at a WalMart to purchase the things you might need when you've been away from home for 10 days. At last, we got them to their home, weary but happy to be there. Bob and I continued our travels alone arriving just in time to take communion at out Wednesday service.



Our church is sponsoring a prayer wall this week and my assigned prayer time is 10:30 pm-11:00 pm. I was so tired that my good friend, Lisha, offered to pray in my stead last night. Have I told ya'll how much I love that woman? She's the best and is always willing to do anything to help me out and lately, I've needed lots of help! Anyway, after 9 uninterrrupted hours of sleep, I'm almost recovered from my trip........and looking forward to my next.....travel time!

Big Blessings

I joined the staff of my church almost two years ago. I can't say I came to work, because it is NOT a job, but a ministry. For over 30 years I worked in the textile industry, moving up from an hourly labor position to a supervisory one. During that time, I volunteered for every type of training that was offered: computers, English, management, etiquette. You name it, if it was offered, I was there. Little did I know that God was preparing me for a leap of faith.

My good friend, Lisha mentioned in April of 2006 that the church secretary was leaving. She knew that at one point when the position was vacant I felt the call. Well, this time that feeling did not go away, so I scheduled an appointment with my pastor, to discuss this opportunity. After everyone got over the intial shock and discussions all around, I was offered the position and left the known for the unknown. What a blessing the unknown has been. The pay difference (rather substantially less) has not affected how we live. God seems to provide all we need. The intangible benefits are overwhelming.....Imagine a place where the family is valued and the need to care for your family is honored. How awesome is that? I've been able to care for sick children, an ailing mother and go to the airport to meet an injured grandchild as he arrives back home. I can attend sporting events with my child, school programs or just take a few hours to spend time with my family. The duties of this position are a joy, though sometimes stressful, but I wouldn't want to be any where else. Thank you God for BIG Blessings!

Miracles

Every once in a while, something happens and when it does, you realize that a lot of things in your life really don't matter. On Friday evening, my middle grandson who was visiting his other grandparents in Michigan, had a sledding accident. Wally was front man on the sled and he hit the tree first. I won't go into the gory details but he came away with a fractured skull, a broken nose and a fractured eye socket. Things were scary and he was transferred to St. Vincent's Children's Center in Green Bay, Wisconsin. The staff there took very good care of Wally and his parents. To make a long story short, he will require some reconstructive surgery further down the road, but he will be okay. Therein, lies the miracle. Wednesday, Wally and his mother will board a plane for home. You can bet I'll be waiting when that plane lands in Atlanta!

Sunny Sunday

.....and it was a glorious, beautiful day the Lord made! The Spirit of God was evident in the worship service with great singing and preaching. This afternoon, my friend, Lisha, coordinated another successful children's egg hunt. Kudos to you, girlfriend! The beauty of the day, coupled with all the good things that happened just made it special all around. This evening....friends came to relax and share a meal and more than a few desserts. Back on that diet tomorrow! Thank you God, for family, friends and those sunny Sundays...........

Mere Musings

Lately, I've spent a lot of time traveling to my hometown. My mother has been ill and although she is a resident in a nursing home, she recently spent 10 days in the hospital. Today she had an outpatient procedure performed on her kidneys and once again, I was in my van riding. I was crossing Kowliga Bridge which is located over beautiful Lake Martin just as the sun began its descent to the west. The beauty of God's handiwork hit me squarely in the face as the sunshine shimmered on the peaceful waters. These words immediately came to mind: Our God is an awesome God, He reigns....................

Wednesday Wisdom

Worry.....most of us do it from time to time. Some people do it constantly. I was reminded tonight that the Bible instructs us NOT to worry...so if we worry....it is sin. The past few weeks have been pretty hectic and I've found myself in that worry-pit. It was good to be reminded to have faith, not to worry about anything, but to pray about everything! God is much bigger than anything that could every worry me. My prayer is that I begin to pray more and worry less.......

My Man

I love my husband! He's been a part of my life for over 34 years and quite frankly, I could not live without him. Now don't get me wrong, there have been times I THOUGHT I could live without him, but they have been few and far between. This man is a keeper....he cooks, he cleans, he mows the lawn, he takes car of my vehicle and he loves me! How good is that? I arrived home from work today to find him frying chicken and----- he cleaned up his mess. He's a quiet guy for the most part but that's okay, I'm loud enough for us both. God blessed me with a wonderful partner in life and I'm a happy woman..................

Forever Friend

I'm convinced we all have friends.....friends for certain times of our lives. I'm also convinced that for most of us (girls especially) there is one true friend. You know the one that will tell you when your behind is big or your mouth has your foot dangling from it. They are also the ones who keep your kids, cook for you, soothe your frazzled nerves, and commiserate when you think your hubby is a jerk (but he really isn't). They hold your hand, pat your back, hug you, pray for you and keep you grounded. You share lunches, laughs, sobs, good times and bad. You try to imagine your life without this person, but can't. Whether they are in your life from the early years or you find them later in life as I did.....you will be blessed beyond measure by this relationship. So Lisha, my friend, for what it's worth.....I love you and count you as my....... forever friend.

Sunday Snippets

Had a great day of worship at church. I can't believe we are almost ready to occupy the new worship center! The next few weeks are going to be exciting and stressful and since I am on staff I expect it will be especially so for me. But I digress, came home from church and had a healthy lunch, I had prepared in advance, with my two favorite guys. After lunch, the guys went out to do some much needed yardwork while I stayed inside and mixed up a loaf of banana nut bread. I also peeled and sliced a fresh pineapple. Once the bread was baking I joined them outside to prepare my herb garden for the spring. I have the perfect place to grow herbs, so I've removed the flowers and will devote that site to rosemary, oregano, parsley, dill, sage...you get the picture. I also enjoyed sitting a bit in the sunshine with my hubby....we don't have a lot of downtime. The bread is done and cooling and I've sampled the pineapple (yummy). Soon it will be time to go back to church for the evening ministries. Life is good..................

Dutiful Daughter

My mother was a very strong person. You know the "Steel Magnolia" type. She raised three daughters on her own for the most part and did a pretty good job of it, if I say so myself. Sadly that person is slowly being replaced by someone I don't recognize, a mere shadow of her former self, an almost child-like being. I go bi-weekly for a visit to her nursing home. Lately I've been more due to a 10 day stay in the hospital that required someone to be with her 24/7. Sometimes she knows who I am, like tonight, and other times she calls me ma'm, I'm a stranger to her. Tonight was a good visit...we ate Cinnasnacks from Sonic and drank Diet Dr. Pepper. She laughed along with me, my sister and my nephew's girlfriend. I savor the moments when I recognize the woman who gave me life and whether or not she remembers my name, I'll make the trek for our visits. Until the Good Lord calls her home, I will continue to be a dutiful daughter.........

March Madness

I admit it, I love baseball! But with my love of baseball and a 14 year-old who loves every kind of ball comes a bit of madness. Not the collegiate kind, where all the ranked teams square off to see who's the best in basketball, but the hometown kind where you hear yourself saying, "You have practice when?". I'm looking forward to this baseball season. The first reason is that my son was drafted by my co-worker, a great guy, who will be joined by three other men (none of whom have children playing - amazing) and myself as team mom. Did I mention I casually said, "If my child happens to be on your team, I'll be the team mother."? Back to my first reason....after a lackluster season last year, I see this year being a year of playing hard, learning more and being a real team. Reason two: my son is growing up, not just in age, but in body as well (6'3" and 170 lbs.). He really wants to play collegiate sports but at that level parents lose the closeness to the player and the sport. I'm a hands-on girl, so it will be difficult to only be a spectator. So I look forward to a spring of getting to know new players and parents, to days spent at the ballpark for practice & games, to watching my child play a sport he loves! Ahhhhh..............I love baseball! Play ball!

The beginning

My best friend is a blogger, a very good one in fact. I've been encouraged by her reflections and knew I wanted to try to blog as well. There are a lot of things going on in my life and hopefully putting words to "paper" will allow me to put things in perspective. Sit back, relax and enjoy (or not) being Barb........